Five Easy Steps

Not Helping Since 2011

How to Quit Smoking

1. As a young person, buy into the assumption that smoking tobacco products will either:
a) Give you a place in a social order you admire, or,
b) Fulfill an image you hold of yourself, based on deceptive and subtle marketing.

2. Ensure that enough tobacco is smoked to create a dependency, both physiological and psychological. Make sure that you take offense at any suggestion that you may, in fact, be addicted, while secretly hate yourself for being just that.

3. As the years go on, find employment that provides resources both for living expenses and your habit. Make budgetary cutbacks as the price of tobacco increases, reducing expenditures in all other areas except smoking. Internalize the stress of the financial crunch, allowing it to drive you to increase you tobacco consumption.

4. Experience the health side-effects of your habit, from breathing problems, hearth disease, to cancer. Observe these effects second hand in those around you, children, spouses, friends. After years of denial, begin to understand what doctors have been telling you your entire life.

5. Stop smoking.

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